Phuk Et

In the absence of cats, and with only a few dogs to be found, Jen has taken to feeding the local birds. (Local restaurants, I'm sure, are absolutely thrilled about this.) We discovered an Italian-style cracker called Scrack, and if she waits long enough, they'll come up and eat it from her hand.

She's also been a hit with one of the local beach bum pooches, Scoobes. (Seriously, I've taken to calling her the animal whisperer.) Twice he has joined us in our afternoon sunbathing, huddled in the shade beneath her chair.

As for me, I have only attracted the attention of an older Australian gentleman while out for a walk on the beach one morning. As I walked briskly by the water, I overtook him as he ambled in the same direction. I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, hair pulled back in a messy ponytail. (In other words, so NOT hot.) He wore a black speedo, and about 100 extra pounds.

He called out to me as I walked past, offering me a piggy-back ride if I got tired. I laughed, briefly, and picked up my pace. In parting, he said, "or maybe you could give me one." I kept walking.

Once I reached the end of the beach, I turned to make my way back. This time, I walked farther from the shore, in the softer sand. I saw my Australian friend closing in, still headed in the opposite direction. I turned my gaze towards the tree-lined street that bordered the beach and tried to avoid eye contact.

Unfortunately, he changed course and made straight for me. He told me I was a "ray of sunshine" and had made the morning walk worthwhile. I thanked him and he chuckled, adding "I'm an old dog, aren't I?" I laughed and told him to enjoy the rest of his walk as I hurried back to the hotel.

See, Frank? Nothing to worry about!

For dinner Saturday night, we tried a Thai place that sat right on the beach. I don't remember much about the food, only the conversation at a neighboring table that we couldn't help but overhear. There were two older British men and three, rather young, British girls. What caught my attention initially was their comments on penises: whether size mattered (not necessarily), if circumsised or not was preferred (no definite consensus here). It was hard to ignore, as they were drinking heavily and talking loudly. The conversation then moved onto the topic of Thai girls, and how one of the men in particular had found a few who wanted to sleep with him for free, but begged him for some money so they wouldn't lose face in front of their friends.

I was appalled, both that this might happen and that he was talking about it so nonchalantly. He went on to describe how he'd gotten one girl pregnant, and it was years before he even bothered to meet his daughter. He talked about how "they" all had different men, each paying for some aspect of their life: car, house, the multiple children running around, etc.

Now, I don't know a lot about this sort of thing, like how prevalent it is, or whether or not some of the older-white-man-and-young-Thai-girl couples you see here are genuinely based in love. But on the surface, I find it disturbing in the very least.

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, one of the girls changed the subject to how much she hated all Americans. No explanation, no exceptions. At this point I was seriously tempted to turn around and interrupt, but I bit my tongue (what good would it really have done?), we paid our bill and went to find some ice cream...

There's a security guard at our hotel. He stays mainly in the front, with his handy whistle to help direct parking efforts. Every time we walk by, he clicks his shoes together and salutes us. He adds a somewhat sinister chuckle after we've passed by. Charming, really.

And thus, our time in SE Asia is nearly up. We leave at 7:00am Thursday morning, which is 5:00pm Wednesday, LA-time. Then, after approx. 29 hours of traveling, we land back in reality. Or, as close to reality as La La Land can be!

Safe travel wishes to Audrey, who'll head in the opposite direction on Friday!

And I'll see if I can't come up with some type of conclusion to post when I get home!